Vow to Say Something Special

Do you promise to have and to hold your beloved, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, ‘til death do you part?  Of course you do, but you may want to spice up your wedding vows with a special and personal rendition.

This is not to say that traditional vows aren’t heartfelt, honest, and meaningful, as they have gotten the job done for the vast majority of couples through the ages. However, some may wish to be creative and add a touch of individuality to their wedding-day script. If this is you, the following are some tips to help you create special vows for your wedding day.

Do use the traditional vows as a starting point, but you will also want to ask and answer similar questions:

  1.  What first attracted you to your future spouse?
  2.  When did you realize you were in love with them?
  3.  When did you first say the words, “I love you?”
  4.  What do you admire most about them?
  5.  What does marriage mean to you?
  6.  Is there a special interest or memory that the two of you share?

Apart from answering these questions, you may also wish to recite a special verse of a favorite song or poem. Although you will keep the contents of your vows private until your wedding day, you will want to talk with your future spouse to determine the length of the vows. Even though your vows do not have to be extensive, they should closely mirror the length of the vows of your future spouse. This may sound awkward until you discover that your three lines are dwarfed by the two paragraphs your spouse wrote. Again, they don’t need to be exact, but the length does need to be similar.

Now that you have a general idea about what you wish to say, there are a few things to keep in mind. When Vowing to Say Something Special, remember to:  

Keep it Focused

Remember that these are your vows. Make a bulleted list based on the answers to the questions above. You will be making statements such as, “I love you because…” Your vows will be a narrative that expresses your love and commitment to your spouse-to-be. Keep things focused and try not to stray too far from this central purpose.

Keep it Brief

It is understandable that nerves may get the better of you. However, rambling on about each and every detail regarding the depth of your love can become boring and mundane after several minutes.

Keep it Appropriate

Every couple has their special moments, secrets, and romantically inspired chat, but make sure that what you wish to say is appropriate for all ears. Although it may sound ideal when whispering sweet nothings during pillow talk, keep your vows rated “E” for everyone.

Say it Loud and Proud

Depending on the size of the ceremony venue, you will want to make sure that you are speaking at an appropriate level. Nothing will annoy guests more if you are mumbling or are speaking to low to be heard.

Remember All that You Can

Although you may wish to recite your vows from memory, the excitement and emotion of the day can make this task and impossible feat. This is okay. You might consider having your vows printed on a small card. You can have the officiant hold the card and repeat your vows after them, or you can hold the small card and glance down as necessary. In either case, this is perfectly acceptable ceremony etiquette.

If you aren’t sure what to say or where to begin, you might consider asking the officiant, as they will have plenty of experience to draw from. But… if all else fails, keep in mind that it is okay to hire help. If writing isn’t your forte, consider hiring a ghostwriter to help put all of your thoughts together (no one has to know).

Lastly, take time out to practice your vows as if they were an all important speech. Use close friends as a sounding board or practice in the mirror. After all, you are vowing to say something special.

We wish you all the best on your wedding day!

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